Lollipop
by Smartalic240
Summary: Dib a mysterious unknown creature is bored but finds entertainment in more ways than one. Yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

_It's been so long sense I spread chaos._

The person who thought this snickered as he watched the new Invaders stand proudly. He was waiting. The one person or Irken he wanted to see would definitely be here or die trying.

"WAIT!" An obnoxious voice shouted startling the Tallest from their self-praise.

"Zim." Purple, one of two leaders of these green, bug eyed alien's.

"Yes, it is I the Almighty Zim. I'm here for a mission." The short Irken with big red insect eye's said. And as the Tallest began to shove him away with a sandwich, the teen decided hell was ready to be let loose.

_This is going to be entertaining. _The power suddenly went out, earning gasps and a few screams.

"Zim! What did you do?!" Red's voice demanded. The light's suddenly came back on and the audience gasped as in the middle of the room a pile of Irken guards lay. Adding on to the fact, some odd creature sat casually on top of them playing with a switchblade could have made anyone unnerved.

The creature had two ears, a nose, hair black as outer space that seemed to defy gravity by sticking up on top, pale skin, amber eyes that gleamed with amusement, and a smirk that spelt 'Touch me and I'll kill you.' Judging by the pile, he would keep that promise.

" Hello." It said cheerily as if nothing was wrong with this scene.

"Who?! What?! How?!" Purple gasped the creature tapped the blade on it's black combat boot. Zim watched in fascination as the creature stood up and walked over. Passing the two stunned Tallests and over to Zim.

"You're Zim, right?" The creature asked the small Irken nodded a bit scared. The creature opened a pocket from its black trench coat and as Zim cringed waiting for death, a lime lollipop was pushed into his face.

"Want one?" Zim curiously took it. " Lime." The Irken wasted no time and opened it, popping it into his mouth and tasted the tangy sweetness. The creature pulled a red one for himself.

"Nice to finally meet you. My names Dib." The creature said with a pleasant smile. Red and Purple cleared their throats' loudly getting his attention.

"Dib is it? Why are you here? This is the Irken armada and I don't think your Irken." Red asked a bit of curiosity and ignorance in his tone.

"Simple I'm here to offer myself as a slave…"

"Great we could use a maid." Purple said interrupting him.

"To ZIm." This made the two pale at the thought as they looked over at the pile of bodies lying in a heap. The Invader in question squeaked in surprise at the confession. Zim pulled his lollipop out with a pop.

"A slave? What makes you think you are worthy of serving the great Zim?" The Irken eyed Dib carefully. To prove himself, Dib opened his jacket pulled out a needle and shot it without looking. It hit the only guard left who was running to get the creature.

"I've trained on more than three-hundred planets and have destroyed my air share as well. I can kill without feeling guilt over it, but only if the kill makes sense. I'm not cold blooded; I won't kill without a purpose." Dib said as the Tallest took a step forward.

"Sorry, Dib but Zim is not a Invader so he has no use for a slave. But if you come with us I'm sure we could find you a planet to destroy." The Tallests offered.

"Doesn't matter if he's a Invader or not. He's still entertaining so I'll stick around." He sat down crossing his legs and cocking an eyebrow at the two.

Red and Purple looked at each other and huddled whispering to one another. Finally after a good ten minutes the two leaders looked up. "Congratulation's ZIm you're going to Blorg. Planet of the Murderous Rat People." Red said in an irritated tone.


	2. Chapter 2

The ceremony was over and now Dib and Zim waited for a SIR unit. Zim was ecstatic over the fact he got a mission and a slave. Now, referring the creature as Dib-slave. The other could only smirk as nervous Irken's treaded carefully by him. The Tallest's had a special model for them.

"Why's your head so big?!" The blue-eyed robot asked latching onto Dib's shoulder.

"Is it supposed to be stupid?" Zim asked the Tallests. Purple and Red held back laughter. Dib detached the bot from his arm and pulled out his blade, a killer's twisted smile on his face. The Tallest gulped as that look was turned to them.

"Gir, you like to hug your Mama and Papa?" The smile grew. Gir squalled in joy and launched at the Tallest. "Bye Mama Red! Papa Purple!" Dib hummed innocently as Gir embraced the two in a death grip hug. Finally Gir let go and ran back to the creature that picked him up casually.

"Yea, bye Mama." Dib laughed walking to the transporter. Zim followed them making sure they herd how the planet would be destroyed in no time.

"Dib-slave you'll have to tell me your species and weaknesses."

**ONE WEEK LATER-**

Red passed up and down in the massage room waiting for one specific call. All the other Invader's called in except this one.

_iMaybe they're dead./i_

That thought didn't entertain him like so many other deaths would. Why?

"Sir! Message from Blorch!" One of the smaller Irken's with green eyes said, looking at the screen.

"Accept! Now!" He ordered. Quickly the giant screen showed live feed. The creature, Zim laughing evilly, and the defective SIR unit latched onto Dib's shoulder stood. Rat people bowed at there feet. Well mainly Dib who had a bit of blood on the corner of his mouth.

"The planet Blorch has been concurred my tallest! And I've grown two inchs!" The Invader exclaimed happily. Red's jaw dropped at he heard this.

"What?!" The Tallest yelled in surprise. Zim's antenna's twitched slightly at the Tallest's tone. "Show me." He ordered the three. Dib with a sigh stood up and grabbed a tape from one of the slaves.

The creature shoved it into the computer's drive and it began to play.

i_Dib was killing with his blade, barely having to try as he slashed one of the thousands of Murderous Rat People's throat's. Gir himself accidentally set off a laser blasting holes into anything or anybody near by, and Zim was setting explosions body limbs everywhere./i_

_i"__Hey, Zim not so close to the left!" Dib shouted. Zim nodded and opened his PAK, shooting beams of death. The battle lasted fifteen minutes at most before only a few Rat People were left. They dropped down on there knees and bowed, begging for mercy./i_

Dib out of the whole fight got only a scratch on his palm. Zim was in fair condition and Gir was to stupid to get hurt.

"It was a piece of cake, my Tallest send some Irkens to take charge." Zim said, proudly, loving his ego being stroked. Dib looked around the message room.

"Hey, where's Purple?" He asked, no respect in his tone, just conversation.

"He's getting us nachos. Your Teleporter will be ready in a few minutes. A expedition team will come as well." Red said staring at Dib.

"Aw, well, I'll just have to gloat later. You two really didn't think we would be able to do it." The creature said blandly.

"Dib-slave! Show respect to the Tallest!" Zim commanded Dib rolled his eyes.

" No, thanks, I'll pass." The creature then turned to look at one of the rat people. "You, I want you to spread a message. Death is promised if any of the Irken's coming here are harmed and you've seen I'll keep that promise."

The rat person ran away quickly to spread the message, pure fear on her face.

"Can we have muffin's?!" Gir asked loudly. The creature opened his pocket to pull out a yellow lollipop and gave it to Gir who jumped off his shoulder to get it. Dib pulled out a red one and popped it into his mouth.

"Hurry up with that transporter. This place is covered in blood and I hate the after smell of a fresh kill." The creature put a hand through its hair in thought before sitting down on the ground next to Zim.

"Ending Transmission." Dib said before the screen went black.

Purple, at that moment, came in happy with the bundle of snacks he got for himself and his co-leader.

"What did I miss?" He asked, stuffing his face with chips.

"Zim's concurred Blorg they're coming back." Red said holding his stomach. His squishy splotch was acting odd. Purple coughed making Red cringe away in disgust.

"What?!"

"Transportation Pod's active three beings are coming." The same Tech officer reported. Red not bothering with the snacks raced to the teleportation room.

Dib looked bored as Gir slobbered over the lollipop he had gotten not to long ago and Zim seemed to talk and talk. Red calmly walked in only to be tackled by Gir into a hug.

"See Gir, your Mama is just fine." The creature snorted his emotion's changing slightly.

"Gir, get off the Tallest! And Dib-slave apologize." Zim snapped the commands.

"When hell freezes over." Dib yawned and began walking away. "If you want me, you won't find me. I'll come whenever." And with that he left them. Red looked over at the door.

"I apologize for my slave's behavior, my Tallest! I'll punish him later."

"Yea, ok."


	3. Chapter 3

_How long have I been asleep?_

It was the first question to pop into Dib's head when he woke up from atop a few cords on the ceiling. To bad he didn't have a watch. With a sigh, he stood up and jumped down, startling a Irken walking in the hallway.

Ignoring the Irken, he went off to look for Zim. As he walked, he received more stares. Some curious, others fearful. Finally he saw Red commanding two Irken's.

"Can't find him well continue looking! We can't celebrate this properly without everyone involved in conquering Blorch!" Dib put his finger to his mouth to hush the two Irkens who saw him as he tiptoed behind the Tallest.

"Sir, yes, Sir!" He suddenly shouted right behind the Tallest, making him jump a foot in the air. Dib stretched a bit before looking at the Tallest. "Miss me? I'm flattered." He said.

"No, we're celebrating yours and Zim's victory over Blorch." Red said, upset about embarrassing himself because of Dib. The creature gave him a look that said he wasn't interested in it at all.

"Just give me some lollipops if you want to say thanks." Dib said pulling a blue one out and tossed it to Red. "You look like someone who needs something sweet to cover up the bitter." He said, taking a red one out as well for himself.

"Where do you get these?" Red questioned. The creature seemed to get these out of nowhere.

"Like any other alien. A store." Dib replied looking around. "Where's Zim and Gir?" He asked.

The Tallest thought for a moment. "Purple took off with them to get ready for the announcement. You three will be the poster boys for Impending Doom Two."

"No thanks." Dib said, walking away but Red grabbed his arm. "Did I mention there will be a feast afterwards?" He smirked at Dib as the creature considered it.

"Will I have to answer any questions?" Red shook his head. "And there will be lollipop's?" Red nodded. Dib smirked. "Fine I'll go. May be entertaining."

The Tallest grinned, finally winning something with this creature.

"Good, now I won't have to send you out the airlock." Dib snorted at this.

"Ha, you couldn't hold me long enough plus I'd just end up killing your guards again and you." With that Dib bit down making a cracking sound with the candy.

"Well you probably want a room. Zim said you hibernated for at least eight hours." Red getting use to the threats said. Dib nodded. "And maybe a different outfit and a bath." The Tallest chuckled.

"Fine but don't expect to watch." Dib returned the joke with one of his own. Red's squishy splotch tossed giving him an odd warm embarrassed feeling. His face became a darker shade of green.

Red and Dib walked in silence The Tallest sill getting the odd warm feeling as they turned to a metal door. Red pressed his palm on the touch screen and the door slid open to reveal a bath.

"I'll send a maid to get you some clean cloths and help you.." Red blinked when Dib turned pink in the face.

"I'll accept the cloth's but no help." He said waiting for Red to leave but the Irken just stood there staring at him untell finally he pushed the Tallest out. "I was serious when I said you couldn't watch." Dib said to the confused Tallest, laughing as he closed the door.

Red wanted to be upset but his squishy splotch decided it wanted to be all warm and tingly so he left telling the first maid he saw to go get Dib some cloth's.

Dib removed his black lab coat putting it away in a corner so it wouldn't get wet. His bath was peaceful. He grabbed a bottle of what smelled like roses and scrubbed it into his hair.

The door opened and a female Irken with green eyes shyly came in. She held black pajamas and a towel.

"Leave the pajama's right there and go." Dib didn't like people seeing him exposed to the elements. Quickly and almost releived she dropped them and ran out.

_Am I that scary?_

Dib wondered then sighed contently as he washed the chemicals out of his hair.

Once he was done he got out dried off with the towel the maid had gotten him and changed into the pajamas. He grabbed his jacket, shirt, and jeans before leaving the bathroom for the maid's to clean.

He seemed to be attracting more attention then before. Perhaps someone had a death wish they wanted to tell him about. He went down another hallway before figuring out he didn't know where he would be sleeping at.

"Dib-stick?!" Zim's voice shouted so loud it made Dib's ear's hurt. Quickly Dib followed the sound of the voice. Until finally he reached the messenger room. Purple, Red, Zim, and Gir stared at him.

"What is it? A attack because if you're going to be shouting so loud it better be!" Dib growled.

"No, we aren't under attack Dib. We've made plans to announce the news of yours and Zim's victory and the fact Zim hasn't blown anything up yet here on the Massive. Irken's will be here in a week." Red said with a smile.

Dib grunted then glared at Zim. "Only scream like that if you're about to be killed or else I'll be the one to kill you." He hissed then turned to the Tallest's. "I have no idea which room is mine can you tell me where it is?"

Purple sighed and pointed at a random Irken. "You show him to his room." He ordered. The red eyed Irken with a collar over his mouth bowed and walked over to Dib.

"Come with me." The Irken said.


	4. Chapter 4

_Dib….Dib……Dib…_

A groan escaped Dib's lips and he pulled the cover over his head, doing his best to ignore the annoying voice. Relaxing, again thinking the voice had left, he slipped momentarily back into unconsciousness.

"WAKE UP!" If that didn't wake him, nothing would. With a growl, he shot up, looking wildly around. Purple, Red, and Zim stood, doing there best to seem innocent.

"What is it?" He asked, crossing his arms and wondering how they could have snuck up on him, even in his sleep. It had only been four days here and all ready he was getting to relax. Of course, he never stayed in one placed too long on the massive.

He even went into the message room and watched the progress reports. He could see many ways to conquer the damn planets but never spoke up. Who cared, really his mission was over so he'd make do with the entertainment here.

"Irken's are begging to arrive and they want to see Zim's slave." Purple said then looked around the room. It was a pretty good room. Nothing was out of order. Even Dib's clothes that were supplied by Red were folded and put away in the correct drawers.

"Has the maid even been in here?" The velvet eyed tallest asked the creature.

"Once but I don't like people in where I sleep without permission." It was a hint to get out that was heard but ignored. "And why should I care if a few Irken's want to see me?" He asked ticked by their lack of sense.

"Because they need to be encouraged by you two to do better." Red said casually. Zim smiled proudly at this standing straight to show the extra two inches he'd gained on Blorch. Dib sighed rolling his eyes.

"Fine. I'll be out in five minutes. Just go so I can get changed." When the three remained where they were Dib growled and pushed them out. "Perverted Irkens." He grumbled closing the door.

He changed rather slowly if just to spite his 'master'. His new outfit consisted of a black t-shirt, jeans in a black shade, and of course his signature black trench coat. He slipped on his combat boot's ready to beat any Irken who wanted to start a fight with him.

Half of him actually wanted that to happen so he'd have a bit of fun before the party in three days. So with hope of some action Dib walked out of his room down three hallways till he got to the elevator where he pushed Level Three and it went down.

He walked out of the elevator to see Zim and another Irken female glaring at each other. Red and Purple were probably up in their chambers putting on their robes. Great! He'd have to deal with this until they got here. Jerks.

"Break it up you two. Where's Gir?" He looked around for the insane robot.

"Wahooo!" A shrill squeal from above caught Dib's attention as Gir crashed to the floor next to him.

"There you are. What were you doing on the ceiling?" He asked. The SIR shrugged stupidly and stood up. "Gir, go find Mama Red and Daddy Purple and drag them down here. Zim seems to want to start a fight and I don't want to be accused of beating him without reason. That goes for you too!" Dib growled when he saw the smug look on the female, purple-eyed Irken.

She hissed at him, which was soon a low grumble when he pulled his new blade out and cocked an eye brow. If the woman wanted a fight, who was he to not grant it? He wasn't sexist especially with Irkens, you went easy on them and they'd kill you long before you even scratched them.

"So who's your friend?" He asked Zim who glared at that decision of what to call her.

"That thing is Tak." He pointed a accusing finger at her. She glared at it before turning to Dib.

"As Zim said, I'm Tak. You must be the poor soul who is his slave." Dib snickered as Zim turned a shade of purple.

"My name's Dib." He introduced as she looked up at him. He extended his hand and they shook hands.

"So how did someone so tall as you end up as Zim's slave?" She asked once all pleasantries were done. She gave him a one over, looking from his feet to the piece of hair that stayed up no matter what one did to it.

"Actually, I gave myself to him." He shrugged, then looked around. Apparently this was to be the after party place. Decorations were being hung. Little flags with the Irken symbol on them everywhere you looked.

"Why?" She asked curiously. From what she heard he was a great fighter and could easily take over a planet by himself. Heck, she saw the video posted up on the IRK network.

"I was bored." He answered, acting as though it was the simplest answer in the world. She was about to argue, he could tell, when three screams, well, two screams and crazy laugh sounded in the elevator. The doors opened with Gir dragging a two dizzy Tallests.

Dib couldn't help it. He burst into laughter, holding his rib's because they hurt so much. "Good job Gir!" He praised the SIR unit.

"Yes, Sir!" Gir saluted Dib before laughing along with him. Red and Purple glared which had no affect on them.

"Serves you two right for waking me up just to ditch me." Dib said his laughter subsided as he picked up Gir happily. Red sighed scratching between his antennas.

"We had to change."

"For an hour?" Dib wasn't stupid they were probably laughing about their evil scam to put him into one of Zim's fight's. The two chuckled nervously as Dib's eyes narrowed dangerously. They were caught.


End file.
